Chocoholic Easter

I know that Christmas is the holiday for retailers (and Christians, of course), and Valentine’s Day is a holiday made-up for the benefit of the Greeting Card companies and florists.  And St. Patrick’s Day is primarily for the drunks and drinkers alike (and the Irish Catholics).  But I am firmly convinced that Easter is a holiday primarily geared towards Chocoholics and largely benefiting the drug-peddling dealers known as the candy companies (and Christians, of course).

The best holiday candy comes out at Easter, don’t you think?  I speak, primarily, of the Russell Stover Eggs and Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs, but I’m not limiting my adoration to those alone, no no no.  Cadbury Crème Eggs, See’s Bordeaux Eggs (really, anything from See’s at this time), Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Candy Eggs, dark chocolate foil eggs, Nestle Crunch foil eggs, jelly beans and chocolate bunnies, bunny-nest haystacks with little jelly bean "eggs" and even the noble Peeps.  All are simply awesome examples of how wonderful the Easter season is for those of us addicted to the “Sweet Brown”.  (I just made that up; no one ever calls it that.)

But my point is that when it comes to holiday themed candy I don’t think any other holiday comes close.  Halloween is a great holiday for candy, true, but mostly it’s the same ol’ candy I buy all year long just delivered in much smaller packages and randomly assorted with one or two candies I hate so they can ditch the crud that no one buys anyway.  The only truly Halloween candy is candy corn and let’s face it…those suck.

Christmas candy is okay too, I guess.  There’s always been something primal and visceral (and a little disturbing) about biting the head off a chocolate Santa.  But there’s so much baking of cookies and breads, handmade candies and fruitcakes that candy just doesn’t have much of a profile.  A notable exception is Peppermint Bark.  That is both a highly addictive and a deliciously unique flavor to be enjoyed only around the Christmas holiday.  I had some a few weeks ago and it doesn’t taste the same without Bing Crosby singing White Christmas in the background.

The candy companies have been very careful to shape their impact on this holy day though.  They want to pimp their drugs to everyone universally (unless you are so Vegan you can’t eat chocolate animals or peanut butter-filled eggs) so they've created chocolate bunny rabbits rather than chocolate crosses.  Candy eggs replaced Sour Gummy Crucifixes.

And I, for one, am glad they’ve worked so hard to change the imagery of the holiday.  Their work has turned a day that commemorates a tragedy turned miracle (for Christians, of course) into a whole four to seven week chocoholic-binge-eating-stomach-bulging-pimple-forming extravagancy that gives me a “valid” reason to have a drawer FULL of chocolate, and a cookie jar filled with chocolate foil eggs, and several chocolate treats in the pantry just in case I want something different for an hour or two.  No one can judge me for this because it’s EASTER!!

So that’s what makes Easter such a special time for chocoholics like me (and Christians, of course).  It’s the one time of the year when the candy makers throw caution to the wind and put all kinds of sweet gooey deliciousness inside a tasty chocolate shell.  And as long as it has a bunny on the wrapper or is shaped like an egg I’ll buy them by the dozen for weeks leading up to the big Sunday morning when we share and exchange our chocolaty hoard with our loved ones and children (and Christians, of course).