You know what I just adore more than anything? Table wine. What, I
wonder, is table wine. Seriously, unless it's made out of god damn
tables, it's not freaking table wine.
What is it wine makers? Too afraid
to tell us what grapes you use? Afraid that "California Raisin" doesn't
sound as good as "Sauvignon Blac" on the side of a bottle? And don't
start in on me, wine snobs, I know a thing or two about wine. In fact I
just opened the last bottle of wine in my house and it was "Table Wine".
It tastes like Ed McMahon's colostomy bag, but without the possibility
of a lottery pay out. Not that I won't drink it or something. I mean,
bad wine is better than no wine. Damnit, alcohol, you win again.
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